By Kyra Oakland

It’s been almost a year.

I thought I was past the shock.

I thought my mind had finally grasped my brother’s death.
Some moments, it feels like it has.

Other moments…

On the phone with my mom, I catch myself about to ask what he’s doing today.

I find myself rounding the corner to his bedroom, still wondering why he isn’t there.

Why hasn’t he texted me back?

I keep running from it.

Until it catches me in the middle of a sunny street.

A song he loved comes on shuffle.

A plane flies overhead.

And all I can picture is him.

His smile.

Grief feels like a shadow cast over everything I do.

I remind myself to be grateful.

For the love.

For the memories.

But the confusion and pain doesn’t subside.

Why did this happen?

I’ll never have the answers.

But I have to keep moving forward.

I have paid the ultimate price of love and it’s something I’ll be learning to live with for the rest of my days.

Simply yours, Ky