By Kyra Oakland

The realization of missing a moment while you’re still living it. My relationship with grief has altered that quote. I’m not missing a moment, I am mourning it. 

The sadness that follows a loss. Some say it includes regret as well. That’s often true with the loss of someone, but a memory is different. If you are living a moment worth missing, it shouldn’t come with regret. Unless you weren’t fully experiencing it. This connects to the loss of a loved one, where the regret sprouts from not soaking in their presence. 

The last family trip we took was to South Dakota, just a week or two before I left the states. I had just gotten my wisdom teeth out, complaining and bitching constantly. I didn’t want to leave the house with a swollen face, but mom was relentless. Three hours side by side with my brother. The last trip we would ever have together and I was passed out or on my phone. I could have never guessed what would occur ten months later, but that is the definition of regret. I regret not soaking in every part of him: his laugh, his jokes and the shared glances we had. 

One of the most irreplaceable concepts I have learned in my grief journey is the importance of being in the present. Soak in the moment, so a memory is not filled with regret, but with the warmth of having fully lived it. When the time comes, you can mourn not just the loss, but the beauty of the moment that once was.

Simply yours, Ky